Getting older

I have issues with age.  I don't like to think about how old I am or birthdays.  I know I'm not really old, but I still feel like their is so much I should have done by now and that makes me feel old.  Then I see friends who are only a few years older then I am, but feel so young next to them.  Its weird how your brain plays tricks on you.  

I was brought back to reality this weekend though.  A guy from high school was recently diagnosed with ALS, another has battled cancer, a friend at church is facing a possible MS diagnosis (in her 20's) and a family member had a serious health scare this weekend that I thought couldn't happen for at least another 10-15yrs.

While most people wouldn't call me old, I'm old enough to have friends with horrible diseases/medical issues. I'm old enough to get them myself.  That makes me feel old.  I know I can't prevent it or stop it.  All I can do is live like normal and deal with what ever comes our way.  That doesn't really make me feel better.  It definitely doesn't help with my dislike for my birthday.  Its one of those things that shakes you for a minute and you tell yourself to remember the significance so you can change something, help someone or do something, but then you get back to your life and those feelings that were so important and your vow to make a change slowly fades into the background.  I guess thats normal.  Its not comforting, but its life and sometimes it stinks.  Ok, now I really feel old!